Happy Muslim Mama: New Colleague at Work

I’m very lucky in that I work with a group of generally very nice people. It’s still always nice though when a Muslim sister joins the workplace, which was what happened this week. A fellow hijabi, she seems very competent and confident and also a chatter-box like me, so it wasn’t long before we got talking.We went through arrangements for wudhu and salah (prayer) and had a good old chinwag about how difficult it is to make wudhu at work and getting socks and scarves on and off and matters of privacy (neither of us were too fussed if others saw us praying).One lunch time we both went off to get some take-out to bring back (kebab-roll with everything – very nice) and while we waited got chatting. She explained that she was more religious in the past, but some rather strident sisters had put her off a little. We agreed that our iman (faith) can fluctuate over time and that it was shame about how pushy some people could be.I didn’t pursue this because it can go into the territory of bad-mouthing sisters, but she had a point. Some people disagree with you, others tell you that you are wrong, they are right and that’s that. I’ve had this with the way I pray, with the madhab (school of law) I follow, with the fact I work and there is no discussion or scope for exploration – just judgement.It is a shame that sisters feel that they are moving away from their deen because of this behaviour. I recall one very nice lady I used to work with who told me she used to be Muslim, she even wore hijab, but different people told her so many things and confused her so much, she decided not to be Muslim anymore. Of course Allah (SWT) chooses whose heart He enlightens with the beauty of Islam, but do we have to be the ones that make it harder? This is why I always encourage new Muslimah sisters to do their own research, and find people of knowledge to go to and also to use their own reason.Anyway, she spoke some more about how she felt that a lot of the religious sisters were not very approving of Muslim women working and how it was mostly the young well-educated ones, rather than older Muslimah’s or sisters who have come here from abroad – perhaps because both have often not had the choice to be able to work and have felt a loss of independence because of it.Another matter we touched on was how a lot of the judgemental sisters didn’t seem quite right. That sounds like a horrible thing to say, but I was shocked when she said it, because I had thought this in the past too. I have often come across very strict religious sisters who act slightly strangely – they can be defensive, shifty, or secretive or just not “open” and comfortable in the way healthy, happy, friendly people tend to be. The sister even went as far as to say they sometimes seem as if they are not mentally quite okay, I’m not sure about this, but they do scare me sometimes.

We chatted more about our children and then got lunch. She agreed that we should remind each other to go pray at salah time and encourage each other which was really nice, so I am pleased to have met her.