Happy Muslim Mama: Islamic School or State School?

A child’s education is always on a mother’s mind and it is something that has crossed my mind intermittently since before the birth of my first child. Of course we want the best for them and we are blessed to have so many options available to us. But how do we ensure we are making the right choice. When Little Lady was three we enrolled her in an Islamic nursery attached to a home-schooling group. The effect on her behaviour was almost immediate (aside from flooding the nursery by opening all the taps on the first day). She was more polite and a lot calmer. She also spent every day pleading with us not to send her back (she was probably way to young for school)

Eventually the nursery was inspected by OFSTED and closed, so after approx two months we withdrew her and six months later she started in her local nursery which she loved. She has just finished reception and is progressing well although she is still adamant that she dislikes school and would rather stay at home. Little Man is due to follow her there in September.

This means that we have to work extra hard to make sure we instil a good tarbiyyah (upbringing/manners) within them. I have noticed she has picked up some naughty words and some cheeky ideas that we have to deal with. However her class is perhaps 60% Muslim, the school serve halal lunches and her teacher has agreed to make sure that any gelatine sweets children bring in at birthdays etc are replaced with a vegetarian alternative. Her teacher is very big on being kind and being nice and respecting each other (for example she discourages them from saying “Oh God” – which I said once and was told off by LL and told to say “Oh beans” instead). I understand this is rare, but I suppose it’s one of the benefits of living in cosmopolitan London. The issue however is environment: what Little Lady is picking up from her peers.

In contrast, my cousin has attended the same home-schooling group mentioned above. The children pray salah together, learn Arabic and Quran and at the same time are studying an accelerated programme of academic learning. My cousin is doing very well and loves his group. One of the differences I have noted in this child is his sincerity and his love of learning, which is not very cool amongst older children in mainstream schools and discouraged. His younger sister spent a year and a half with the group and did not progress at all. Her mum moved her to her local state primary which is quite good and she has progressed better in her reading and writing and is far happier.

Another example that concerns me is a cousin that goes to an all-girls Islamic school. She is doing well academically and in terms of her Islamic scholar course, but I have noticed that many of the girls in this school are obsessed with the way they look: comparing their hijabs, their jilbab’s, their weight, waxing and bleaching their faces at 13 and getting their hair done. This is so NOT what I want for my daughter and I would have hoped that a sound Islamic education would help to move away from this.

I have not ruled out any options (cost permitting). I do feel that the most important thing is to have a strong Islamic environment at home to begin with and set the best example ourselves. The next issue is to make sure that my children are learning about their faith and gaining the knowledge they require to practice it fully without compromising their academic education.

I hope that whatever route we choose that that it leads them to become Muslims with a pride in their faith and people of culture and broad thinking. Finally that they enjoy the process – that a love of learning is instilled in them that colours their whole lives.