Happy Muslim Mama: An Organised Muslim Home

One thing about being a working mother and a Muslim mother is that there is always plenty to do. First and foremost is the time that we have to devote to Allah, at the very least our Regular prayers. Then there is the duty to our children our partners and our community. On top of this there are the hours blocked out and dedicated to the work we have to or choose to do.All of these things leave us in a position to be exhausted, confused, harassed or…exhilarated by the intensity of our lives? For me the difference between rushing and fruitfulness is having a routine and being organized.

We are helped in maintaining routine by the cycle of our prayers: dawn, afternoon, late afternoon, evening and night and part of our day is often blocked out by our working hours. The rest of our work and duties are then woven around these milestones of our day. So in my home the evening meal isn’t at 7pm, but after Maghrib in winter and before in summer. Our evening walk isn’t at 9pm, but after Maghrib in summer and after Esha in winter. It’s a simple, natural, more flexible cycle.

The trick for me is to slot in all the big things and stick to the timing for them. Internet and herbal tea before work. Cuddles with the kids and catch-up with the better half as soon as I get home from work. Arabic with Little Lady before prayer and mealtime. Playtime for the kids and internet-time for me. Followed by the all-important bed-time routine for the kids and prayer and walk time for the grown-ups. Key for me is the absence of exact timings. There is nothing that induces an adrenaline-rush in me quicker than trying to race against the clock. This is fine for work or an exam, but not where children are involved. Children need to go at their own pace, and the only way to get them to do things promptly and in good time is not to hurry them, but to incorporate things into the routine of the family so that they do it as habit.

The other part of staying calm in the face of all we have to do is by being organized. I am rubbish with housework (poor hubby often ends up doing more than his share of scrubbing) but I try to have different days for different tasks. Some are influenced externally; so if the bin men come on Friday morning, then all of the bins and recycling are put out Thursday night and the kitchen, fridge and garden are cleared out Thursday too. Other tasks are by routine; Saturday for chores and visiting, Sundays for gardening. In our home it’s important that we try and do as much as we can through the week, so we can enjoy the precious time we have together at the weekend and allow ourselves to be refreshed.

My mum has also had a weekly menu for years, so for any given day of the week you know what will be cooked in that house (Monday is lentil night, so all the kids know to get take-away, Fridays is chickpea curry and kebabs so that’s my fave day to visit, Saturday is rice and chicken so it feels like there is a celebration going on). All of this means, she can shop according to what she needs for the week (or even the month) and never has to think about what she will cook.
I also try to make sure that there is a place for everything. When Little Lady came along, we child-proofed our home (no candles, ornaments, cleaning products, make-up or bitty things below four feet), it’s still that way and will remain so until our youngest is much bigger. This in itself makes for less work (i.e. less picking up, less breakages and less worry about what the kids will get their hands on), but what helps the most is just having a fixed place for everything. This makes it harder to lose stuff and easier to tidy up. So at the end of the day all of the kid’s toys get thrown in two boxes, their books onto two shelves. Their coats go into the pram.

Finally, the thing that helps me the most is being prepared. My work clothes and bag and Little Lady’s uniform, bag, lunch money and water bottle are ready the night before. The nappy bag stays packed and sits by the pram and car seats and the baby bottles get washed at night.